First Times
by Risa Ravenclaw
Summary: Just a bunch of shots of James Potters' first times. First time he rode a broomstick, first time he pranked someone, first time he got a detention, first time he played Quidditch on the Gryffindor House Team, etc. Rated T for some language.
1. Rode a Broomstick

_This is a collection of James Potters "First Times". It's purely for the enjoyment of watching James fail miserably and have fun with his closest friends (see Sirius, Remus, and Peter). It's expected that you can gather that each chapter name is finishing the sentence "The firs time James Potter...". This is James Potter, Harry's dad, not Harry's son, to clear that up before we begin. Also, I'll be updating this as I finish each "first time". At the moment, I have two finished, and I'll be posting them both. I'm almost done the third. I don't know how many there will be, but I'll let you know when I've run out of ideas. You can put in your own, if you want, but I've already finished "...Asked Out Lily Evans" and I'm almost done with "...Pranked Severus Snape", so don't offer those up c: These are not in any order. At all. This first one ("...Rode a Broomstick") is James at seven. "...Asked Out Lily Evans" is second year at Hogwarts. "...Pranked Severus Snape" is first year Halloween. You'll be able to find when these take place in the writing c: None of them will be very long, I don't think. I don't see many over 1000 words. This one, I think, is only about 640 or so. I got this idea from my dear rp-buddy Bella, who plays the Sirius and Lily to my James. Please leave a review, I'd love to know what you think and any suggestions you might have!_

_The stories are mine, but the characters-any that you recognize-are J.K. Rowling's._

…**Rode a Broomstick**

James sat on the broom, shaking with excitement. He was seven years old, his very first broomstick. It was the newest in the Cleansweep series, and James was beyond proud of it. He vowed to become a Quidditch World Cup champion some day, the youngest-ever Chaser to be on a national team and _win every World Cup he was ever in_—which would be all of them, of course.

"Dad, how do I make it go-o-o-ohhh!" He had leaned forward just so slightly, and the broom, having hardly raised three feet above the ground, shot forward. He tumbled off the broomstick, and, having lost its rider, the broomstick stopped, waiting. James had only one thought that repeated itself in his brain: "Stupid broomstick, doesn't know how to ride a person." The thought, to James, didn't sound like it didn't make sense. In fact, he thought it made loads of sense, though he didn't mention it to his father, who stood chuckling behind him.

James's father lifted him to his feet. "Son, it's very simple, once you get the hang of it."

"I don't like simple," James replied, pouting. "I want a new broom, one that knows what to do."

His father only laughed. "Jimmy, this is the best broom you'll find anywhere. It knows what to do if _you_ know what to do."

James muttered something that sounded like "poppycock."

"Here." Mr. Potter picked up the broomstick and carried back to his son. He dropped it back to the ground. "You're only seven, James. You're not going to get it right away. I wasn't able to ride my first broomstick until I was eleven, right before I started Hogwarts." Mr. Potter raised an eyebrow as James smirked, no doubt thinking he was a far better flyer than his father. "Mount it. Tell the broom what you want to do. Fly."

The instructions were simple, far too simple for James's liking. But he did as he was told, mounted the broom and told it what to do, hoping it would fly. "Go up, go straight, and do it _right_." He waited expectantly, but his feet stayed firmly on the ground. It was Mr. Potter's turn to smirk.

"Do you want real instructions now?"

James's mouth resembled a fish, opening and closing soundlessly. Finally, he whispered out, as if betrayed by his closest friend, "You lied to me? That's not what I'm supposed to do?" He pouted again, and called for a House Elf (his favorite House Elf, Ichabod, who he called Ichy for short) to bring him a glass of pumpkin juice. He wanted a break before he decided to trust his father's instructions again.

After his snack, James mounted the broom again. Mr. Potter now sat in a lawn chair, reading a rather thick volume from his library. He glanced up to see his son ready for the next step, and then continued his book. "Lean forward slightly. Don't lean forward too far, or you migh—"

"AHHHH!"

Mr. Potter dropped his book and ran to catch up with his son, wishing he'd brought his own broomstick out, as well. "James! James! Slow down! Pull back, pull back!"

It would seem James pulled back a bit too far, and he slid right off the back, landing painfully on his back. He drew in a deep breath and let it out in a frustrated sigh, pounding his fists on the ground on either side of him. "I give up!"

"No, you don't," his father decided, steadying the broomstick over the boy. "Try again."

An hour later, James had successfully figured out how to ride a broomstick, and he zoomed around the countryside gleefully under the watchful eye of his father.


	2. Asked Out Lily Evans

_The stories are mine, but the characters-any that you recognize-are J.K. Rowling's._

…**Asked Out Lily Evans**

He was twelve years old. It was mean to be a joke, just a dare from Sirius that James had stupidly gone along with. Now James payed for it, his arm wrapped in a sling as he waited for Madam Pomfrey to come back. After finding out his arm was broken in five different places, Sirius had laughed himself silly, and he, Remus, and Peter were told to leave before they were banned from the place forever. James wished they'd come back. He didn't like being in the Hospital Wing alone—it was creepy.

"All right, Mr. Potter, here we are. Professor McGonagall wants to come in and get the story straight, of course, though there is no doubt in my mind that you'll have detention the rest of the week. Harassing the poor girl, of all things…"

James tuned out, waiting for her to fix his arm. He thought he'd play it out, make it out to hurt like hell so that he would have to stay overnight. When Evans found out she'd forced him into pain and misery in the Hospital Wing, that'll serve her right. There was no need to charm him into the air and then "get distracted" and drop him. In the Great Hall, of all places.

"OY! That hurt!" James shouted, glaring at Madam Pomfrey's wand as she pulled it back.

"Well, of course, it did, Mr. Potter. Everything hurts with you." Her tone was sarcastic, and James frowned. It wasn't his fault he was in the Hospital Wing this time, and it wasn't Quidditch's fault, either. Quidditch!

"I'll be good for Quidditch try-outs tomorrow, right?" When she didn't answer, he became worried. "Right?"

"Yes, yes, you'll be fine. As a matter of fact, you're free to go now. Take that sling off, you don't need it, and Professor McGonagall wants to see you in her office."

Ah, dear ol' McGoogles. He wasn't sure where the nickname stemmed from, if he or Sirius had said it first, but James still had trouble pronouncing her name so it fit his needs just fine. He did everything he could to avoid saying her name in front of her. Why couldn't he just call professors by their first names? It would be so much easier.

"Actually, I feel a bit sick. Would it be all right if I just stayed overnight? Y'know, to make sure I'm good for try-outs tomorrow?" He heard Madam Pomfrey sigh, and he took that as a yes. Taking care to make sure he didn't move his right arm too much (it was supposed to hurt, after all), he made himself comfortable. "Can I see Sirius, Remus, and Peter now?"

"No. If you want to stay overnight, I'll have to send for Professor McGonagall and she'll come here. I imagine you want rest, so I'll keep your friends out of here for you." She smiled kindly at him, but James knew the smile was just to encourage him to leave already. He got that smile often enough from Professor Binns when he stayed after and asked pointless questions, just for the sheer enjoyment of seeing a boring ghost like Binns pissed off so much.

"But—"

"No 'but's, Mr. Potter. If you're feeling this bad, we might want to give you some Pepperup Potion and send you on your way." As she left to get the Potion, James's head was filled with a horrible image of him smoking at the ears as he left the Hospital Wing, having to walk across the whole school to get to McGoogles's office with smoking ears, his face turning red at the very thought.

When James was sure she'd gone, he jumped out of the bed, grabbed his bag, and sprinted out the door as fast as he could. Miraculously, his arm was feeling all better.

Unfortunately, when he reached McGoogles's office, Sirius was there already telling the story amid shouts of laughter from Peter, a snicker coming from Sirius himself every few words. Remus just stood and frowned. James was forced to admit that yes, he had asked Lily Evans out to Hogsmeade, even though they couldn't go without permission, and, as they were second years, didn't have a prayer of getting permission. Yes, when she said no, he had asked her on a study date, that he needed help in Potions. Yes, he had smirked when he said this. Yes, he had stepped closer with every word until he was practically nose-to-nose the red-headed Evans girl. Yes, he had indeed offered to give her his first kiss. No, he did not threaten her with his wand, as Sirius insisted (and James was positive the wand Sirius was talking about was not at all what McGoogles _thought_ he was talking about). Yes, Evans had lifted him into the air with a levitation charm. Yes, she had dropped him and he'd broken his arm. Well, _she'd_ broken his arm, if you wanted to get technical about it. No? Oh, all right then. Yes, he'd been fixed by Madam Pomfrey. No, he did not want detention. Yes, he did want to try-out tomorrow for the House team. Yes, he would promise to be good the rest of the week.

The four friends left McGoogles's office, and, when they reached the Common Room, James and Sirius laughed and laughed at McGoogles's trust in James being "good" the rest of the week. Remus stared disapprovingly, muttering about keeping promises, and Peter snickered. The next day found Severus Snape in the Hospital Wing suffering from a rather nasty cold. (Rumor had it two of the four boys out by the lake and forcefully grabbed the greasy-haired nobody and tossed him gleefully into the freezing lake.)


	3. Pranked Severus Snape

_The stories are mine, but the characters-any that you recognize-are J.K. Rowling's._

…**Pranked Severus Snape**

James and Sirius huddled under James's Invisibility Cloak. Their stomachs felt very empty, as they refused to go into the Great Hall for the Halloween Feast until Snivellus showed himself. The two boys had become rather close their first two months at Hogwarts, though they still didn't know the other three boys in their dorm room very well at all. However, both had taken an immediate dislike to the greasy-haired git that had dared call them nitwits in their first Potions lesson together. Double Potions with the Slytherins—whoever had decided that should have their heads flushed down Moaning Myrtle's toilet (of which James and Sirius had heard from a fifth year Gryffindor, and, apparently, she haunted a girls' toilet).

As the slimeball approached, James pinched Sirius's arm, who, in turn, stomped painfully on James's foot. James opened his mouth to say something, but Sirius had taken hold of his elbow, forcing him to face forward. "Git," he muttered. Sirius responded by poking him in the middle of his back, and James let out a shout of laughter, his knees almost giving out.

Severus Snape stopped cold. "Who's there?" he asked. His eyes narrowed, squinting into the dark corner where James and Sirius were waiting. James smirked, prying his elbow from Sirius and starting to walk towards Snivellus, safely hidden beneath the Cloak.

James took a deep breath and heard Sirius do the same in his ear. He readied his ears before he and Sirius shouted, "OY! WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING, YOU BLUNDERING FOOL! OUTTA MY WAY! DON'T YOU KNOW THE BLOODY BARON WHEN YOU SEE HIM?"

Their voices were not in unison. James fell behind Sirius, thankfully skipping over none of the words they had rehearsed. The effect was a strange echo throughout the hall, and he took great joy in watching as the other boy shrank back in fear. He felt breath moving by his ear, but he wasn't sure if that was Sirius breathing or if Sirius was talking and James had gone temporarily deaf.

"WELL? DON'T YOU?" Again, their voices weren't entirely in sync, but they must have gotten their message across, because Severus Snape looked wildly around, then, with a shriek, he began to run for the doors of the Hall. Sirius kicked out his leg to trip him, but Snape scrambled up and continued running for the Great Hall.

Of course, the two wanted to make sure they were known well for that bit, that Snivellus knew just what he'd gotten himself into, and they were about to rip off the Invisibility Cloak as they howled with laughter. The thing that stopped them was the frightened look of one of the boys from their dormitory standing just ten feet in front of them. It looked as though the poor boy had wet himself. Unable to hold it in any longer, James and Sirius fell to the floor, howling with laughter. Sirius pounded his fists on the ground, James was on his back, his legs kicking up in the air, his hands wrapped around his stomach. The Cloak was under them, and the other boy from their dorm stopped shaking long enough to squeak out a, "You two are right foul!", which only made them laugh harder.

After a few minutes, James and Sirius struggled to their feet, their knees weak as James gathered up the Cloak and the two walked side-by-side into the Great Hall. The other caught up to the before they reached the doors, and three entered together. They looked to the Slytherin table to find a cloud of Slytherins hovering around Snivellus. James was pleased to see he was still shaking. He stopped, smirking at the Slytherin Slimeball and waved. Immediately, the boy's features changed from a look of shock and fear to one of pure loathing and understanding. James's smirk widened and he skipped behind Sirius and the One-Who-Had-Peed-Himself up the Gryffindor table, sitting between Sirius and that red-headed girl—Evers-or-something—who looked as though she'd rather be eating bile. He shrugged and "accidentally" flicked his chicken leg at her. He glanced over to "apologize", but she was staring him down as if he'd just blown a hole through her plate with his wand and was laughing maniacally about it. He hurriedly turned his attention to Sirius.

"I say that deserves to be one-upped," Sirius said before he could open his mouth to say the exact same thing. James's mouth broke into a wide grin, and the boy that shared their dorm looked over at James and said, "What are you gonna do?" Sirius raised one eyebrow at the boy, who looked as though he wanted to take back his question.

James's eyes went from the boy to Sirius and back. "Not sure yet," he decided. "What's your name, anyway?"

"P-Peter Pettigrew." He seemed absolutely terrified at Sirius's stare. Sirius obviously didn't want anyone getting in the way of their next perfect prank. James only nodded and reached for another chicken leg, only to find that the red-headed beast Evers had moved the dish to her other side so James couldn't get to it.


	4. Had a Cauldron Cake

_A/N: Bella wants to post her "First Times" :O Of Sirius, of course. I wanna read them alllll. So when she does, I'm posting linkage here._

_The stories are mine, but the characters-any that you recognize-are J.K. Rowling's._

…**Had a Cauldron Cake**

It was second year, and James sat next to his closest friend, Sirius Black, on the train to Hogwarts. Across from them sat Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew. While Remus busied himself with a schoolbook and Peter stared out the window, James and Sirius glared at the compartment door. Both their stomachs had been growling for a good half hour now, but the trolley lady still hadn't come by with snacks.

Last year, James had gotten nothing from the trolley. He didn't feel like he could fit anything into his stomach, and, even if he could have, he was sure he would've thrown it all up before he reached the school anyway. That was how excited he'd been. …Now he was just dreading homework and being told "no" again by the stupid Quidditch captain. Maybe he'd been demoted.

James stomach gave a particularly loud grumble, and Sirius smacked it as a way to tell his tummy to be quiet. "Ouch!" As Sirius's stomach now made a rather loud growl, James retaliated by smacking him in turn. ("What was that for?")

The two continued in this way for a good twenty minutes, and, by the time the trolley came around, their middles were red and they were laughing at each other. Peter opened the compartment door and bought himself two Licorice Wands. He hardly had both his wands in his hand before Sirius pushed him out of the way and demanded four Pumpkin Pasties, two Cauldron Cakes, and six Chocolate Frogs. When James finally got his turn (Sirius nearly ran into him with his arms full of sweets), he got six Chocolate Frogs, one box of Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Bean, a pack of Drooble's Best Blowing Gum, and two Cauldron Cakes, which he'd never been allowed before.

Something about Cauldron Cakes made his mother think he shouldn't have them, and Mrs. Potter had done everything in her power to make sure he'd never gotten a taste of them before, even though he'd begged and tantrummed her into getting everything else for him. The begging and tantrumming just didn't work with Cauldron Cakes. Also, now that he was twelve, throwing tantrums just wasn't his thing anymore. He'd found the guilt trip works just as well.

"What are these like anyway?" he asked as he occupied the space next to Sirius once more, dumping his treats in the pile with Sirius's.

Sirius only gaped open-mouthed at him in shock. Not a pleasant sight, what with a half-chewed Pumpkin Pasty in his mouth. James would not have felt as if he was missing out on anything if, when he looked to the boy across from him, Remus wasn't looking pityingly at him, too, unwrapping a Chocolate Frog from Sirius's pile. Peter slowly chewed on one of his Licorice Wands, as if contemplating how to explain the Cauldron Cake.

"It's only one of the best things in the world." Sirius unwrapped a Cauldron Cake, stuffing it inside James's mouth when he'd opened it to speak.

He choked at first, but finally got enough out of his mouth so he could chew and swallow.

But he did not want to swallow. Now he understood why his mum did not want him to have Cauldron Cakes—they were a delicacy that she wanted all for herself.

And people thought _he_ was selfish.

As soon as he did swallow the Cauldron Cake, James opened his mouth again to say how wonderfully delicious it was, but Sirius stuffed more in his mouth, as if afraid James's reaction would be, "Eurgh! What is that shit?"

When he got that one down, he wrestled Sirius's hands away and said, "That stuff's amazing," and took another from the pile. The chocolate he tasted was amazing, though he couldn't place the filling. Frankly, he didn't care. It tasted amazing, and he wanted more. He was going to get fat off these things.

(Later that year, wanting more Cauldron Cakes to last him through the rest of the year, he got Sirius to help him threaten an older boy from their House with a nasty joke, and, though the threatening seemed to do no good, James payed him triple when he came back with enough Cauldron Cakes to last him the rest of his second year.)


End file.
